The very existence of the human being is a complicated maze of male and female emotions yet these complications or for a better use of words this emotional quagmire is the beauty of love. For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time I want to welcome you to the pot of truth and my personal opinion derived from my personal experiences or those of my friends. Some of these opinions me drive you mad but if you read this with an open mind and the willingness to explore other angles of the argument of life you will enjoy yourself being mindful that I am very conscious of the existence of God in our lives. That said, I am also willing to learn so feel free to comment on this blog, I also want to welcome all my friends, those who read my blog secretly and those who willing and freely share it among friends.
What makes women believe that the best way to know a man is to read women’s magazine on 10 ways to keep your man or 10 things your man wants. These articles are then written by women for women about men! How funny! Is it a wonder then that ladies still can’t please their men? I must quickly warn at this stage that the ladies should not feel that I am attacking women, so please read on! I do not want to attack you or accuse you any less than I would the men. I only want to ask a question, why are there so many single women? And yet there are so many single me?
Since I asked the question, I will answer it too so you don’t have to goggle it or stop reading my blog in search for the answers. In other to explore this question and the answer that I will put forward, I would like to name my imaginary woman as CAROLINA and my imaginary man as DAVID. Also don’t forget the questions as you read the answers (even if you don’t see them as answers, consider them nevertheless) because you could easily get carried away in the gender brawl! In a nut shell we are still as ancient as our ancestors! We just need to accommodate each other a little more while keeping our gender instinct. If you want the long answer then read on!
Delusion of society – Who really cares how unhappy you are? Who really gives a shit if you are sick? Who really knows if you can afford the dress you are wearing? So what if you have the most expensive ring? Did it bring true love? So what! You went to Harvard, who will it hurt if you spend your last penny in that expensive restaurant so that you can belong? Who cares if you are a member of that club? Who gives a shit if your mother was the prom queen? Who cares if your father owns the company? It’s not yours stupid! The fallacy of most of these things is that nobody really cares only the one that loves you but because women are aware of these things some men will go to any length for it. Our society has become so false that both men and women have lost their way trying to please the “Faceless society”. Some people will miss out on love because the person is not from a certain area, skin colour or country and yet we claim to be intelligent beings. We have become victims of some glossy magazine written by some sad bastard somewhere locked away in his/her office playing with your fears and telling you that is what society demands. Show your face oh society! Identify yourself! So that we too may
scrutinize you!
Delusion of age – There is a sort of delusion that is going on with Carolina these days; the society we live in has become so selfish that we believe we have all the time in the world before we commit to a serious relationship. This delusion would make Carolina of say 24+ tell herself she is still young, so she keeps partying and all the crazy things that go with it. She does not pay attention to the real man David 30+ asking her out for serious relationships, her answer to him is “you are too serious for me right now” so she lives her life like there is no consequence to actions and on a fast track! The funny thing is at this stage David himself may not be sure but he does what he believes would keep the girl of his youth, believing he is man enough to handle it. Suddenly Carolina blinks and she is 30+ now beginning to feel a sense of natural pressure, forgets about career, party and fast track. But now David 38+ and is gone.
Delusion of money – One of the greatest disappointments of the modern age is the inseparable link between success and money. Carolina now 35+ has done it all, lived on the fast lane, done the men thing, has the job and very very well paid I must add, and every couture shop in town knows her name. The question then will be, is she happy? Answer no! Because David 42+ who would love to be with her can’t be with her for long because he has a job but not as well paid, he has lived the life too. But whenever there is an argument or disagreement, Carolina would snap at him “I don’t need a man to survive, I have it all”. At that moment the very thing that makes David a man begins to die or begins to become angry, now David begins to evaluate his circumstance, he begins to feel he has no voice and his male instinct to protect and provide begins to scream for help. If only Carolina had just been mindful that the money does not give her male instinct. If your money is used properly, it could be a very powerful source of support rather than thinking that money makes you the man...oops!
Delusion of no emotion – Of all the studies carried out on human behaviour or human emotion, it is really strange to think that the studies carried out on men get very little publicity, not to mention that the studies on men’s emotions are very limited. Ladies, do not be deceived by the seeming strength of the man, he is an emotional wreck when you leave him or when the brake up happens. So gentlemen (or those of you who have brothers, nephews etc) it behoves us all to talk to men, get them talking about the things that really trouble them. Be a shoulder to lean on when things go wrong, be the mate to invite him out, be the listening ear and identify with him. Men, it is not masculine to lie to yourself about your pain, a real man is a man who knows when to cry and when to laugh, when to run and when to fight, when to be romantic and when to say no, when to say sorry and when to stand your ground. Believe me these things are more difficult to do than isolate yourself to destruction, men tend to climb the ladder of self pity faster and higher than women, so gents lets stand up and be called by our name!
Do you still remember the question I asked above in the second paragraph, take a look again and go through some of the things I have called delusion and you will be surprised at how many of us these things affect. So if relationships are going to happen and last, I would suggest the following
· You must be at peace with yourself
· Know what you want, because then you will know what you can give
· Become selfless
· Just remember no one is perfect including you
· Appreciate the nature of love – pure, forgiving, sincere and most times makes you feel stupid because of the things you may have to put up with
· Accept the person for their strength and weakness
· And most importantly make sure that the other person really wants the same things as you, because then you will build on the biggest gift of all LOVE
