Life, Hope and Us

The Unknown Factor

2011-06-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the unknown!
Wow! It’s been a long time guys and a big welcome to those reading my blog for the first time. I have to remind you to please read my profile to have a little understanding of how I draw my conclusions. I have to say in the last year a lot has happen and a lot of topics would have been fantastic to write about but one topic kept coming up for me and for a lot of the people around me. The things we don’t know in life if we were to do this, that or nothing at all can lead to frustration, stress, unhappiness and sometime the unknown can lead to despair.

Welcome to my new blog!... yes, it’s been ages, I have been doing stuff but doing nothing..hahaha. You know what I mean!.. As always I only write when I am inspired by something happening to me or my friends. This is not to say nothing has been happening but I always wait for that common denominator that cuts across to most people before I start. This topic has bothered me for so long but I didn’t have the right words or phrases to use. Somehow I couldn’t articulate it properly until now.
You know the feeling that things are just not happening for you can sometimes be overwhelming! And the frustration can really drive you mad. It is even tolerable when you can control what that is but unbearable when it is beyond your control and the people who are in-charge seem not to give a F*@k how you feel or may not even have considered you in the matter.

Guess what? It is even worse when these same people tell you that they represent you and that they understand how you feel. No they don’t!.... Ok before I digress to politics, I better return to the feeling of helplessness that can take over our situation and drive us to the verge of no return. Yes, it is not only man made problems, it can be of emotional dilemma, it can be financial, it can be about hurt, it can be about dream, it could even be about someone else. But that feeling that you can’t really place your finger on it, that feeling that you just know that you are stressed and it is getting closer and closer to pushing you over the edge and you just want to get away from it all… at this point I have to say if you feel this way all the time it means that you have started your journey to no return. But I hope this blog will put a halt to that and you can turn around and walk to success and your destiny.

The fear Factor of the Unknown
Now at the very point of my own entry into the worm hole of frustration and the painful reality to admit that yes I am frustrated too. I have been able to find the words to articulate what I wanted to say and to rescue so many others and to save us all from despair, because that my friend is a deeper hole to come out of. The numbers of young people (not that I include myself in the young people ha ha) that suddenly have heart problems, that give up, that hope for a better tomorrow but don’t know where to start from? You will be shocked as to how we have not just all gone crazy!.. the funny thing is ( funny as in silly not funny as in ha ha) there are still so many young people living well, with great hopes for the future and they know it will happen, there are those solving the problems of the world and there are still those recovering from the worst illness they have ever suffered from.

So what do we say to that? Some are frustrated and others are doing well, what should we take from that? Should we just say they are lucky to be from wealthy families (they probably are). Should we just say they are lucky to be who they are (they probably are. According to The Duke of Cambridge “I am fortunate to come from a loving family” basically I am a Prince”). Should we just take it that some are so unlucky in love and maybe in life that nothing really good comes their way? Or is there another way to look at this and to face up to the reality we find ourselves in. For some the search for someone to love or to be loved, for some the financial break through, for some the change of jobs for better pay or recognition, while for some it is to even find a job, for some the complicated relationships that drags them down, for some to stop living from day to day on very little, for some the frustration has led to despair, for some not to rock the boat of a relationship they know is over but can’t end it, for some to hope in the hopeless situation is like an insult to them because they have been at this level for so long.

I cannot say for sure that I have the answers to these problems but I do know for a fact that all things will pass in time. All things will pass us all and that when our time comes we will die and leave it all behind. If any of the above problems have not befallen you, then don’t worry about this blog, just enjoy the read and laugh about it. But if some of the above issues affect you and has driven you to the edge and you feel like today can’t finish fast enough, well I welcome you to the beginning of a new day. As I deal with issues on my blog, I find it therapeutic for me too because I am as open as I can be and as soul searching as possible for a man in his private study or room. One thing I have noticed is that if you look closely at people you will see pain, but in that pain you will see the determination to continue, never to give up. But I have to admit that sometimes I have seen the pain and a complete collapse of the will to fight that can be the most disheartening thing you can see in a person’s eyes.

Our greatest enemy to survival is fear of the unknown! That is exactly the reason it is crippling and very powerful, the fact that it is an unknown. If you want to do anything in life you are meant to calculate it, plan it and at least have an idea of the outcome. This is how life works right?... so imagine a lady who is in her late 30s/early 40s and really wants to be married with kids or imagine a man who is in his late 40s/early 50s who had hoped to be the director of a successful business all his life but has just lost his business ? On the face of it, it is a really bad situation and truth be told it does not look good at all!... Your greatest enemy sets in the fear of the unknown, because your rational mind and everything around you says it has become very difficult and probably you can’t meet a man now or you can’t start all over now. These comments are probably true to the extent that the probability to recovery is slim.

The fact Factor of the Unknown!
But I want to tell you that in that very fear of the unknown lies the answer and solution to the problem. The fact that it is unknown is a good thing!.. Yes I said it!.. it is a good thing!... for you and for many people you have simply accepted statistics as the sum total of your existence. Not only did you accept statistics but you took the negative side of the statistics because it allows you some sense of comfort in the pain, in accepting failure and believing that you did all you could and it is not your fault (and yes it genuinely may not be your fault if it is medical) and that there is nothing you could have done. Great! Just great!... but stop for a minute my friend and think. I asked myself the same questions. Why shouldn’t you be among the few ladies who will meet someone at a later stage in life, be married, have kids and be happy? Why can’t you be the older man who invited Kentucky Fried Chicken after all he was retired? Or be like Mr Dyson instead of crying about hovering the house make a better hover! I have not found anything written anywhere or in any culture that denies you hope as long as there is life! So the unknown does not have to carry fear with it. You have to look at the unknown in the face and say “ While I may not know what tomorrow will bring and while I may not at the moment see any good around, I am confident and certain without a shadow of a doubt that I WILL MAKE IT”

I know it sounds crazy to you right now, your home is gone, you can’t pay school fee, your business is getting worse, everyday letter from creditors, the doctors have told you it’s over, unable to have a holiday, unable to pay your bills and yes you can’t even go out because you don’t want people to know you are broke! My friend, I tell you with all that is in me and all that is created by God and for the very fact that you are alive. There is no reason why your tomorrow cannot be better than today, you will only fail if you stop trying, you will only be overcome by fear if you listen to her, you will only lose if you die of old age or natural causes. And if you die before it’s all done, then you have won because you never gave up and you would have left something for others to finish. So to me you are a winner, to me and to many others you are a champion. You are a god on earth to rule over it because your creator is GOD.

I see myself, all my friends and all of you who read this blog to become that which no man can take from you, your vision and your purpose. Now my friends let us arise and wipe those tires of pain, the hurt, the let downs, the things and people we have lost, the frustration that we have not reached our goals, let us now adjoin the battle of life with more certainty and more confidence in the knowledge that the Fear of the unknown is not for us because we now know that in that situation lies the answers to our problems. Because from now on we will look at the situation from a different perspective instead of with fear we will look at it with the laughter of victorious overcomes saying “ I WILL MAKE IT” because I am alive with vision and purpose!... If I gave you a photograph you would look at the front page to see the picture right? You will not look at the back because there is nothing there to see. Life has two sides no matter how blank one side may be.

I see the truth (the picture) about myself that I will overcome the frustration of the present time, I see myself that I will over the difficulties of the present moment and yes I see myself as a prince born of infinite peace and resource because of whose I am and yes you too are of such power and possibilities not because I wrote it or because you read this blog but because it is true. With a full knowledge that our GOD is alive and well!

So knowing what the fears are and knowing what the facts are about the unknown, knowing that the only thing you know is that nothing will change except you do something about it. Armed with this fact and the confidence that while you are alive there is hope, you my friend have become part of the solution to your problem “the unknown factor”

Don’t forget to comment or forward this blog to someone it may help them too.

Pregnant with Expectations!

2010-07-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hello!.. Guys it’s me again! First I would like to say sorry to all of you who have been reading my blog and have been waiting for something new to come up. Sorry for not writing sooner, I guess I was kind of waiting for that special thing to happen and trigger me to write and as always I write real life situations or at least I share my little experiences in life wrapped up in some kind of wisdom..hahaha

Most of my writings in the past had been about men and women and the intricacies that come with that or better still, relationships from the man’s perspective which is so often forgotten about. But with this blog I want to deal with an issue that is affecting everyone right now and that is financial difficulty or as the government would put it “recession”
Everyone is in a hurry to blame the bankers but the problem with that is that the bankers did not force you to take a mortgage or loan. We are quick to blame the government but we could have simply looked closely at their policies before voting for them but instead we were trapped by the political division that we have come to accept. People have even started blaming immigration for the problems. The thing is no matter whom we blame or what your opinion is, the truth is we are here now and there will be varying levels of casualties. From the millionaires that will become simple men like you and I, to the hard working man/woman who will lose his/her job.

But there are also those who will keep their jobs and some who will make money in this difficult time. Even though these people exist, the general mood of the country or someone they know who lost a lot has made them unhappy too. So are we to remain in this sadness for as long as there is recession? Are we to have our happiness denied us because of the situation? Is our life only linked to our financial ability? Could there possibly be anything else that can make us happy? As always I ask the question and I try to answer it!

Pregnancy
We all need to be pregnant to overcome this.. Yes! I said it; we all need to get pregnant. I know what you are thinking right now! Has Josh gone crazy? There is no money and he is taking about pregnancy? Hahaha.. Well hold on! I am talking about pregnancy, yes! But not pregnancy as you know it. I would like to define what I mean by pregnancy.

I believe that everyone understands pregnancy; even men know what it is to say someone is pregnant. The feelings are different but a man knows what pregnancy looks like and how to treat a pregnant woman with care. So let’s define this pregnancy issue, I believe that when a woman is pregnant there is so much care taken to ensure she is doing well because everyone accepts that she is carrying a precious gift “ Life!”. The life we see her carrying is real but we are still so careful and protective of her and the life she is carrying inside her, we believe in this need to handle her with care and somewhere is our heart we “hope” everything will be ok.

I would like to bring your attention to the word HOPE and yet we see the LIFE in her but still we HOPE that everything will be ok. If you don’t mind I would like you to replace the LIFE you see in her with a “PLAN/PROJECT” that you have already started or JOB or your INTERVIEW or the very fact that you are STILL ALIVE.

Now if you read the above sentence again, replacing LIFE with PLAN and applying hope in the same contest is will read “The plan we have is real but we are still so careful and protective of our plan, we believe in this need to handle it with care and somewhere is our heart we “hope” everything will be ok”. So my definition of pregnancy in this contest is that everyone has a hope based on a plan, project, job, belief or desire and this very ability to hope is what I define as pregnancy.

Therefore, even though we hope that things will be ok, we do not have the certainty that it will be fine. This is the position that most of us find ourselves in life; it is at the premature level that most people give up on things. This is the most difficult time, a time that we should persevere; hold on to whatever it is we so hoped for. It could be the man/woman you love so much and they are just not being fair to you, to the big life changing decisions that makes you feel the world is going to come down on your head, the loss of a seemingly perfect job, the hope to find love someday while it looks like no man/woman fancy’s you. At this time of “pregnant hope” you cannot afford to let go, you must see failure as your enemy, you need positive people, good friends and family and most importantly faith in God. I know it is very difficult but this is the time you should not feel pity for yourself or tolerate people that want you to cry about life all the time, this is the time to move forward and be strong. Move to the next level now!...

Expectations
Now that we have dealt with pregnancy and the understanding of pregnancy in the contest of the blog, I would like to introduce you to the next level. “The expectations”, permit me if you will, to take a little time to define this to you and probably somewhere along the line tell you a little story to help my point along. Hahaha…

If a man were to say to his partner “darling, I will take you for dinner on Saturday night”. This statement is what I call “factual intent” the word “WILL” produce a sense of certainty that goes with it. At this stage the Lady probably will go shopping for something to wear on Saturday night and book a hair appointment, tell all her girl friends, she will not accept any other invitation for Saturday from any other friend, maybe somewhere in there throw in a visit to the Nail bar. (Ladies you know what I mean..Ha ha ha).

Here comes Saturday, and the man does not turn up or tells you that something else has come up so the dinner is cancelled!. Now if there are any men out there reading this, don’t try this at home!. You are most likely to end up in the hospital! Or you will behold a sight you will never wish for again!.. You will literarily see fumes coming out of her ears, clichéd fist, red hot eyes and a part of her that you thought only existed in cartoons. At this stage the worst thing to say as well is “ I will make it up to you”. You probably can make it up to her but she does not want to hear how capable you want to claim you can be, NOT NOW!.

So why was she so angry over a dinner cancellation, well it was not just about the dinner. The use of the word “WILL” brings with it an “EXPECTATION” that means guaranteed to happen. Your expectations are things that will happen, you know it in your heart that it will happen, and you know it from everything around you that it will happen. That level of certainty comes only with expectation! The expectation of everyone cannot be compared to the hope you have. Because “HOPE” is not certain but everyone’s “EXPECTATIONS” are certain.

Taking you back now to the earlier paragraphs about pregnancy, where I related “pregnancy” to “hope”, if we are agreed that hope is like pregnancy (you know the baby is there but you take your time to be very careful not to lose the baby, you nurture it and do everything you can). All this is done in the hope that you will have your baby. Now when the lady is now in labour and screaming, giving birth to that baby and all that goes with it, that hope that she would have a baby suddenly moves to expectation. There is an expectation that no matter how long you wait, that baby is here and will come out, that “EXPECTATION” that there will be a baby soon is “CERTAIN/SURE”

Conclusion
So now if I were to say to you that you should be “pregnant with expectation” for the future, regardless of how things look now, no matter how hopeless it seems and even if no one believes in you. That your future will be great, that you will be fine and you should not give up, when I say that now you will understand that the fight you fight right now cannot and should define you as a person. The difficulties you face now are simply infections and distractions to the fact that you my friend is “PREGNANT” with a precious gift and greatness inside.

You must not let anyone or anything take that from you, you don’t have a job, you don’t like your job, your family is falling apart, no one seems to love you, you believe you have lost a precious love, the financial situation is worst on you than any of your friends. I just want you to remember, “You are pregnant” and you are about to enter the labour room. This is not the time to give up, God is with you in that labour room, there is always one person there even if you don’t know it, your baby will come in this labour room, because now that you have been patient your “pregnant hope” will become “ a certain expectation ”. I want to welcome you to your victory to your next level in life. I too am in the hospital being wheeled into my labour room. Together, we must never give up we must never say it is over because now we know that we can overcome whatever it is with God guiding us as we walk in this life pregnant with expectation!

Life and her delusions

2010-01-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

The very existence of the human being is a complicated maze of male and female emotions yet these complications or for a better use of words this emotional quagmire is the beauty of love. For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time I want to welcome you to the pot of truth and my personal opinion derived from my personal experiences or those of my friends. Some of these opinions me drive you mad but if you read this with an open mind and the willingness to explore other angles of the argument of life you will enjoy yourself being mindful that I am very conscious of the existence of God in our lives. That said, I am also willing to learn so feel free to comment on this blog, I also want to welcome all my friends, those who read my blog secretly and those who willing and freely share it among friends.

What makes women believe that the best way to know a man is to read women’s magazine on 10 ways to keep your man or 10 things your man wants. These articles are then written by women for women about men! How funny! Is it a wonder then that ladies still can’t please their men? I must quickly warn at this stage that the ladies should not feel that I am attacking women, so please read on! I do not want to attack you or accuse you any less than I would the men. I only want to ask a question, why are there so many single women? And yet there are so many single me?

Since I asked the question, I will answer it too so you don’t have to goggle it or stop reading my blog in search for the answers. In other to explore this question and the answer that I will put forward, I would like to name my imaginary woman as CAROLINA and my imaginary man as DAVID. Also don’t forget the questions as you read the answers (even if you don’t see them as answers, consider them nevertheless) because you could easily get carried away in the gender brawl! In a nut shell we are still as ancient as our ancestors! We just need to accommodate each other a little more while keeping our gender instinct. If you want the long answer then read on!

Delusion of society – Who really cares how unhappy you are? Who really gives a shit if you are sick? Who really knows if you can afford the dress you are wearing? So what if you have the most expensive ring? Did it bring true love? So what! You went to Harvard, who will it hurt if you spend your last penny in that expensive restaurant so that you can belong? Who cares if you are a member of that club? Who gives a shit if your mother was the prom queen? Who cares if your father owns the company? It’s not yours stupid! The fallacy of most of these things is that nobody really cares only the one that loves you but because women are aware of these things some men will go to any length for it. Our society has become so false that both men and women have lost their way trying to please the “Faceless society”. Some people will miss out on love because the person is not from a certain area, skin colour or country and yet we claim to be intelligent beings. We have become victims of some glossy magazine written by some sad bastard somewhere locked away in his/her office playing with your fears and telling you that is what society demands. Show your face oh society! Identify yourself! So that we too may
scrutinize you!

Delusion of age – There is a sort of delusion that is going on with Carolina these days; the society we live in has become so selfish that we believe we have all the time in the world before we commit to a serious relationship. This delusion would make Carolina of say 24+ tell herself she is still young, so she keeps partying and all the crazy things that go with it. She does not pay attention to the real man David 30+ asking her out for serious relationships, her answer to him is “you are too serious for me right now” so she lives her life like there is no consequence to actions and on a fast track! The funny thing is at this stage David himself may not be sure but he does what he believes would keep the girl of his youth, believing he is man enough to handle it. Suddenly Carolina blinks and she is 30+ now beginning to feel a sense of natural pressure, forgets about career, party and fast track. But now David 38+ and is gone.

Delusion of money – One of the greatest disappointments of the modern age is the inseparable link between success and money. Carolina now 35+ has done it all, lived on the fast lane, done the men thing, has the job and very very well paid I must add, and every couture shop in town knows her name. The question then will be, is she happy? Answer no! Because David 42+ who would love to be with her can’t be with her for long because he has a job but not as well paid, he has lived the life too. But whenever there is an argument or disagreement, Carolina would snap at him “I don’t need a man to survive, I have it all”. At that moment the very thing that makes David a man begins to die or begins to become angry, now David begins to evaluate his circumstance, he begins to feel he has no voice and his male instinct to protect and provide begins to scream for help. If only Carolina had just been mindful that the money does not give her male instinct. If your money is used properly, it could be a very powerful source of support rather than thinking that money makes you the man...oops!

Delusion of no emotion – Of all the studies carried out on human behaviour or human emotion, it is really strange to think that the studies carried out on men get very little publicity, not to mention that the studies on men’s emotions are very limited. Ladies, do not be deceived by the seeming strength of the man, he is an emotional wreck when you leave him or when the brake up happens. So gentlemen (or those of you who have brothers, nephews etc) it behoves us all to talk to men, get them talking about the things that really trouble them. Be a shoulder to lean on when things go wrong, be the mate to invite him out, be the listening ear and identify with him. Men, it is not masculine to lie to yourself about your pain, a real man is a man who knows when to cry and when to laugh, when to run and when to fight, when to be romantic and when to say no, when to say sorry and when to stand your ground. Believe me these things are more difficult to do than isolate yourself to destruction, men tend to climb the ladder of self pity faster and higher than women, so gents lets stand up and be called by our name!

Do you still remember the question I asked above in the second paragraph, take a look again and go through some of the things I have called delusion and you will be surprised at how many of us these things affect. So if relationships are going to happen and last, I would suggest the following
· You must be at peace with yourself
· Know what you want, because then you will know what you can give
· Become selfless
· Just remember no one is perfect including you
· Appreciate the nature of love – pure, forgiving, sincere and most times makes you feel stupid because of the things you may have to put up with
· Accept the person for their strength and weakness
· And most importantly make sure that the other person really wants the same things as you, because then you will build on the biggest gift of all LOVE

Little notes

2009-07-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

Love
Selfless, sacrifice, kind, true and forgiving. If you were to practice these things then my friend you have began your journey to loving someone or to at least understand love. Do not mistake comforts, fear, desire to satisfy a lack in your life as love and most importantly what you don’t have you can’t give. So if you can love yourself better still God, then you may just be able to love another person

Hope
Hope is the future that keeps you going because you believe that your tomorrow will be better than your today.

Negativity
I also wonder why some people just enjoy negativity so much, they tend to have a new sort of joy at creating pain for others and just being generally an itch to others, the more I wonder the more I realise these type of people have very little to celebrate in their lives and very little to hope for. Once you see them, you have seen the sum total of their life. So regardless of what they say about you they just want to satisfy their lack

Faith
I once heard a preacher say there is a difference between the fact and the truth about you. Those who believe in God would apply their faith and that triggers hope and miracles regardless of the fact on ground because your faith is based on God who can do things that are impossible to man, and this can make the fact of a situation differ from the truth of that situation. I believe in change, because anything that remains the same is dead!

Who are you?
Who I am is not as important as whose I am. I am defined by what I believe and not by what I see

Cowards
I would define the male version of this group of people as “big girls’ blouse” and there are very many of them now, especially with social network site and emails. People can’t even stand in front of others and make accusation directly to the person. And of course they defend their behaviour by further surrounding themselves with cowards, no surprises!

Peace or Fight
Failure to reach an agreement because of selfishness, self righteousness or stubbornness in the believe that you and no one else is correct on the issue could be the worst mistake you make because the passive partner who has neither said a word on the matter or has taken a position of peace may be more aggressive than you can ever imagine. Their pain and anger on that same issue could be bottled up and controlled for a greater purpose not because they are weak or unable to fight back.
But of what use is a fight when no one comes out smelling of roses, when you can simply resolve it. To this end I would like to encourage the seekers of peace to keep doing what is right for the sake of peace. I believe that from the perspective of the “accused” the desire for resolution is not necessarily guilt but a desire for peace. So whether you believe you are the victim or accused, the problem can be resolved by a genuine attempt by both parties because no problem has come to you that is new on earth. Seek peace first!
At this juncture though I must admit that someday you will have to fight and if you must fight, then my friend for the peace you have kept all this years, for the peace you have so cherished and scarified for, again my friend fight fight and fight till the last drop of blood and let anyone who may come against you meet with us, for we will stand together with you at the battle for peace and truth until our last blood is spilt, for we know the truth, we understand the peace and we NEVER LOSE

Hold on to your Dream

2009-05-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

In the last few weeks I have been having a strange feeling that most of my dreams will soon come to pass. Unlike HOPE our dreams are the point of contact or mental visualisation of our hopes or desires, in a dream you see yourself there already, you get a sense of the reality of that hope or desire, that thing you have always wanted to happen to your life to give you a sense of fulfilment. Of all the things that can keep you going and hoping, your dream is the most important.

Before we get carried away with the power of your dream, it is important to ask, do you have a dream? And if the answer is yes, have you been protecting that dream? If the answer is no, well you are in trouble already. For those with dreams, it is important you safe guard your dream because everyday life and on the spiritual side the enemy wants to destroy your dream, I cannot give you a reason for this because I will have to deal with a lot of things in order to explain it but believe me your dream is not sitting there looking pretty without an attack planned on it. When you first had the dream to become a doctor, to be the most charitable person ever, to be the best dancer ever, to have the best family home, to be loved like never before and so on, most of this dreams did not just flash past they were in your heart for a very long time sometimes form childhood and sometimes from the day you decided that you knew what you wanted. But something happens that changes all that and you settle for less, without any warning you are now living a life that you never saw for yourself, a life full of “ifs” and “buts” and that life my friends is not God’s plan for you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made to be happy, fulfilled and complete in all things that pertain to life and Godliness.

So what happened? Well, we gave up, we didn’t just believe it anymore and we felt we had run out of time. You must remember that a dream keeps popping up in your heart from time to time it’s not an emotional experience it’s a genuine call to become who you should be, it’s your inner man crying out for help. Hence once you start living a life that is not yours, you find that you are unhappy most times, you have become the most cynical friend a person could have and your perception of life is negative at best

Solution
First things first, you have to know what your dream is. So in keeping with the philosophy of this blog to draw from personal experiences and from that of my close friends (not very many I must add). I found out that whenever we seem to get closer to our dream comes the most challenging time of our lives. The push and pull of life, the distraction and the fear that you may not make it, for example at the time a young man’s wife had just been transferred to another town (she had to move to secure her job or lose it) she realises that she is pregnant. Another example at the time a young man was practically willing to travel back to Africa for a woman to marry he met his soul mate here but is now thrown into a family controversy, likes of which Shakespeare will be very grateful to write about.

In all of these situations these young men and women are close to their dreams and probably the happiest they have been in years, they didn’t have to have the added stress of having to deal with distance or decisions or like the second case to deal with family issues that they know nothing about. But this is exactly why you must know in your heart that what you are about to achieve is part of your dream, you must not let up or give up, there is no such thing as easy sailing life. There is no one that will not face challenges, the issue is not the challenges you face the issue is can you hold on to that dream. I have come to the conclusion that purpose of the challenges we face is to help purify our dreams, to put the dream to the text of fire so that just like gold it will be purified and come out pure and clearer for all to see.

Your dream is yours and no one can take it from you, not even the devil. You alone can destroy it or give up on it, so you must resolve at all cost ( without becoming a freak, being sure that it is your dream not emotion) to reach the end, to live a fulfilled life even if things don’t look good at the moment. Hold on to the little sparks of light; add some oxygen to that spark at the same time diminish the value of the challenges and hold on to your dream. This is the source of true happiness and if you are happy, others around you will be happy too.

Am back!

2009-05-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! Wow!
It’s been a crazy period in the past few weeks. I am really sorry for the delay and the follow up on the blogs, but I am back people….. not that I have much to say… The last topic was relationships, before I return to my run of topics, a lot has happened in my life and in the world that makes me wonder if the world is going crazy or it’s just me.
Check out the following
1. North Korea is going crazy while the world is playing politics with Russia and China
2. The British MPS are falling over themselves about revelations of misuse of tax payers money while we all know that most people in such positions have benefits even if we don’t agree with all of it. The press is making them run around like kids defending themselves over every penny
3. Man U lost a game because for some reason they froze and didn’t play as you have come to expect of them
4. The Catholic Church in Ireland is in big sh@* for the things their priest did which the Church has covered up with no regard for others.
5. Israel is refusing to listen to America wow!

With all this going on, you almost forget just 2 to 3 months ago everyone was talking about the recession. In all this though nothing is more important than your personal life and everything happening to you. This is why this blog is so relevant and important to everyone including me, I read my blogs again from time to time because I find things in it that encourage me and sometimes I actually wonder if I wrote it.

One of the reasons we keep going regardless of how crazy things look is simply because of HOPE, which is basically a general feeling that some of our desires will be fulfilled. This four letter word is one of the greatest pull on our subconscious inner man to continue and stay alive, to believe, to work, to get up and go. We all hope for the best, I have never heard of someone who hopes (desires) for the worst. So inside us there is a desire to make it, to get it right and to have the best we can. My friends I shall be back with more tomorrow, I only wanted to welcome you back to my blog as we continue on life’s journey of hope and us

Continuation of looking for answers

2009-05-04T06:54:00.000-07:00

Identity
The life we live is both spiritual and physical, accepting this will help you understand why most things happen and why what you do about it matters. Without accepting this, you are merely a wandering empty shell, because all you do is wake up, go to work or whatever you do, eat, sleep and wake up again. Repeating such aimless wander does not leave me with great excitement to be human. Having accepted that we are both spiritual and physical beings, it becomes necessary to consider which is more important.

Why should one be more important than the other? Because the important part of any human being determines how they react to things, it affects their perspective on everyday life. Based on my little life experience I would say it is greater to be more spiritual than physical. Having agreed to be a more spiritual being, I immediately have an identity of sort, a sense of where I belong, a sense of who I am and whose I am. Knowing who you are makes life a little easier, for example the fact that you know your name makes it easier to answer if someone calls you and when you have your name written on a property you can calm that property to be yours. Names help us identify ourselves and our properties. So it is spiritually, knowing who you are will help you resolve any issue that troubles you.

It’s also important to know which spiritual identity we need. For me that question is simple as I indentify with Christ. And this is the major difference from being religious and wanting to know Christ personally, not as a study of Christology but to have a personal relationship. So then, what is the problem you have that God cannot understand? God understands, because we know that Christ was in human flesh and had full understanding as a human being, feeling the pain, the gossip about you, the being broke, the lose, the anger of being let down, the desire not to forgive those who may have hurt you, a sense of weight on your shoulder, loneliness, jobless and many more issues that trouble us.

At this juncture, I would ask you let go of most religious preconceptions that you may have from your religious group and walk with me, believing that the spiritual life in Christ is greater than I the writer. For those that feel they know me, well let go of that little knowledge of Josh and to those who do not know me, your journey will be easier because you have no opinion at this stage (you may develop one later, hopefully a good one). I must also say that there is no desire from me to change your religious believes so if you are a Muslim, Hindu and many other religious groups out there, you are not being asked to run from your family or deny anyone. But I want you to understand that as a spiritual being, I personally have chosen Christ and my answers to any issue will finally be resolved from the perspective of what will Jesus Christ do?

Relationships
What is the answer to relationships? Why is it so difficult and complicated? Yet it is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things a human being can ever be in because of our very nature as social being. The thing about relationships is, both of you have different upbringing and probably different perspective just by being of different genders, there is the man who in the past few years before you came was drinking and hanging out with the boys whenever he wanted to and there is the woman who dreamt of perfect love and met up with the girls whenever she wanted to. Already from my last sentence as you can see, the man did not think of love but the woman did and I am also of the opinion that women mature faster than men with regards to relationship. What I mean by this is that women are ready to settle and accept a man as a life partner faster than the man is.

Part of the problem for ladies is that the man did the chasing and convinced the lady of his good intentions and when she gives up and agrees suddenly the gentleman is not sure anymore (that is not necessarily true but it sometimes feels like that to the ladies). The man has simply become too comfortable in the relationship, so he appears nonchalant. On the other hand, sometimes a man could do everything to impress a lady and she agrees but after a while she comes out with “am no more in love with him” (this also is not necessarily true but when you say that to a man it becomes his nightmare). The lady could be facing new challenges that she feels this man can’t handle, hence her new desire to move on.

And of course the above may not be the problem with your relationships, it could simply be deceptions the fact that one of the partners never loved the other but has ascribed the word “love” to their desire of sexual pleasure. Or it could be that neither of the above example is an issue for you but you will certainly fall into the category of one partner cheating on you, either sexually, emotionally or financially. And if all the above does not fit you then you must be in a relationship of aggression either by physical or emotional. Now if none of the above defines your past or present relationships then I want to welcome you to the renewed life or to congratulate both of you on your disciple to abide in any situation.

The decision to abide in any situation (apart from physical abuse) and be renewed in your mind to understand and accept your partners short comings is the base of a good relationship and also the answer on how to have a good relationship. When you first met him/her your initial thought if genuine was good and of hope and probably a rush of some sort of excitement that made you sing the hallelujah chorus. So what happened?

Let’s assume this person is for real not the one who has conveniently ascribed “love” to lust ( and if you what to know ladies, just look into his eyes and hold out, don’t give in to that desire, we know how much you want to! We all want to...). As I was saying, if he/she is for real, then it is important that you let them know who you really are. Yes the real you that would even scare your mother! Yes that person! Not the nice person you present to everyone, but the real deal. Now if they walk away then they were not for you. Nothing will help you more than truth, and if the person chooses to lie to themselves, it will not last so you will not have to worry about getting rid of them.

The way you start your relationship is the way it’s going to be till the end, there may be a few bumpy rides but it will settle, hence my suggestion that the truth must be told. The problem sometimes of truth is that the person hearing it may not be able to handle it even if they have asked for the truth, so be prepared to lose out in your honesty. So to at least start well is important, for a good relationship you will need the real you, a goal for the relationship greater than both of you, faith based answers for the bumpy ride you will encounter all sealed in an envelope of genuine love for each.

I have often heard people say, love is not enough. I beg to differ, if they know the power of love, what it means to love someone without blame or moral high ground. Or if you try to understand the love of God for us, in that while we did not deserve it he sent his son to die for us. Now if you even have a tiny sense of that, then I must say love for your partner is definitely enough to hold that relationship together. Of cause, make sure to include the italic ingredients in the last paragraph.

more to come.....

Have a break!

2009-04-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

Just a little break before I start my answers for some of life’s issues.

Is life not beautiful? this first picture is a cultural look at one the African masquerade groups at the Festival of African arts and culture I organised in Dublin

Wow! this picture is I and Helena at the Dockland beach festival; I was the MC and instructor. Pictures remind us about life sometimes at the very best times Wow!!!!!!!

Looking for Answers

2009-04-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

Intro
After my blog on Men and Women, I am happy to say over 100 people in less than a week read it so thank you. I didn't know I knew that amount of people interested in what I had to say..haha.... But my next topic may not be as controversial but I believe more relevant now than ever!

No matter the issue, whether it is Trust, emotions, relationship, finance or family we all need answers and sometimes the most difficult thing in life is the need to know what to do about your situation. Even for people who have faith in God, it is very difficult because you sometimes ask yourself why God didn’t stop what we are all going through or at least give us the answers and just make life a little easier for us.

Believe me I buy into that sometimes, once in a while we all question, whether you say you are religious or not ( not that I call myself religious, because my believe is not bound by religion but by the over whelming conviction of the very existence of Christ in my life). But I am not sorry to say that everyone, religious or not, Christian or not must sometimes but angry with the sense of lack of answers as you go through pain, uncertainties and financial difficulties. You just wonder why it has to be you again!

What can I say that will wipe off the pain you are going through? Absolutely nothing! What can a little blog like this do to help heal the pain? Nothing! So why am I writing about it then. Well as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved and to also share with you the answers I have found not in myself but in my faith, so together we can all walk this walk of life in Joy, to find comfort in our time of trouble, knowing that every problem has a solution. I want to share the confidence I have in God to take care of things no matter how bad it looks.

Having just made such a confident comment about God, it can sometimes be very difficult to share this confidence with people. For the very simply reason that I am as practical as they come in life, I believe in solutions that I can see, plan it and deliver. This is why sharing my thought with you and going through difficult time is a challenge in itself. But must we give up on life? No Never! What is it that is such a big challenge or problem that we cannot survive? Better still what is it that is of such magnitude that God is not able to resolve?

We may be faint but not dead, we may be beaten but not destroyed and we may be confused but have not lost our mind minds. I want to invite you to look closely at your life and start with the positive that you have long forgotten because of the present problem. Your life today is as a result of the success you have enjoyed in the past, the very issue troubling you now will not kill you but will set you on a coalition course with your destiny.When the eagle comes against head wind it locks its wings and surge towards the coming wind to gain momentum for height. Now that should describe you, your search for answers sometimes require you to overcome the problem rather than run away from it. Consider yourself unique and strong enough for that which comes your way, for whatever the problem takes from you it cannot take the things that define you, faith, hope and love.

For, if we keep these things to our hearts, we will be able to smile, forgive, care, refresh and be able to look forward to tomorrow. While I try to provide my answers the best way I can, I would like to say that most answers will end up being faith based and challenging to your believe that there is no God or that your God is different from mine. Well, then humour me and keep reading, but if at any stage you find a little truth and relief from pain it will help me and many others who agree with me if you would drop me a line by email or simply make a comment. So now let’s jump into the waters of my solution and answers, bearing in mind that answers and solutions do not eliminate problems but merely serve as a tool to help us overcome problems when they come.

I have set for you the bases for the following answers coming soon in the next few days.......

2009-04-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

……..Conclusion
A perfect emotion as created in us by God is simple; it does not have any emotional distinction expressed by women or men. This is one of the greatest injustice our so called civilization or modern world has visited on us, I don’t know who to blame but we didn’t have to believe the crap they were selling to us, who said men can’t wear pink, who said men can’t hug each other, who said boys should not go to dance classes. Who has done us such injustice and left us with such emptiness of heart.

So, while we would all love to say one is better than the other it may be better to accept that we are different and must make room for each other. The peace of God and the emotional balance that we have from Him is so selfless, so little about ourselves but more what we do to others emotionally.

In a relationship consider your partner as much in need as you are, avoid putting your partner, friend or family member in an emotional box to fit the behaviour of their gender. Avoid having a preconception of who you think they are.

Take a step back from everyone’s high and mighty opinion of your ex-partners because you are the person that spent part of your life with them and this makes you better placed to know them more than anyone else. Make a decision on the person yourself because you actually know what to do but your search for emotional support can go too far. On the other if we must support people emotionally, then support them in the comfort of friendship not as a judge and avoid trying to live your own pain through them.

I hope you have been able to consider some issues from the above. I will have my new topic (Looking for answers) up in a few hours but before then don't forget to visit the Irish salsa congress website and be part of this wonderful event that has kept Ireland on the Salsa dance map for 10 years http://www.irishsalsacongress.com/

Men and Women

2009-04-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

Intro - Let me say first I swear sometimes (but I will try not to as much as I can) and really am writing this how I would have said it if you were in front of me. I have also created my own terms or names for some of my definitions. Enjoy!

If someone said to me that God was having a laugh when he created Men and Women, I would have believed them because our views are so fundamentally different that it is actually funny, but not if you are the one going through crap with either gender. But since I actually believe in God and feel a sense of God I wouldn’t agree with the above, so have you ever wondered who is more complicated Men or Women?

Man – wants to sleep
Woman – need a cuddle
Man – wants food
Woman – wants dinner
Man – just want to F@*&
Woman – wants to make love
Man – trys to understand women by seeing if he can score as soon as possible
Woman – reads ladies magazines on “10 ways to keep your man”

Trust
I could go on forever, but really I want to ask, how a woman can read ladies magazine written by a woman on how to keep your man. How did she come to believe that another woman can tell more about a man? It’s simple, it’s called trust woman trust other women when it comes to talking about men not necessarily that they trust each other on other issues ( Like, is your very handsome boy friend coming over to say hello to us when you are away)

Since women believe in what I call “emotional identification trust”, they transfer that same believe to the man when they are in love with a man. Number one lesson ladies you CAN NOT DO THAT. Now this is not to say that men cannot be trusted, far from it they can but you have to make a little room for what I call the “Male Factor”

Men on the other hand trust you as long as you do not give them any reason for concern, men work on practical things not emotions. This is not to say that men are not emotional but on the contrary, I actually believe that they are as emotional as women, I will come to that later. For a man, trust is a simple and constant display of your loyalty; it is defined by what he sees regardless of what he thinks (with exceptions like, over bearing men and jealous bastards) Men do not transfer trust, they see it to believe it. And I call this “evidential trust”

So both genders can trust but in different ways therefore no gender should try and impose their version of trust on the other. Women your trust is “emotional identification trust” and men your trust is “evidential trust”. Consider this next time you are about to argue with your partner.

Emotion
while there is a school of thought that women are more emotional than men, I am of the school of thought that women seem more emotional than men because of what I call “expressive emotion” while the men have what I call “passive emotion”

Take for example, when a relationship ends the woman would have friends call over and suddenly all her friends would remember the guy was a bastard, useless and a complete idiot. They massage her emotion and tell her how great she is, they even take her out for a girls night out and continue the male bashing sections and God help the guy if she has a friend who has not been dating for a long time (you know the type, every girl has one of them). The ladies would support her through her crying and emotional roller coaster and to crown it all the same ladies still find her another man or at least approve another man, oh this is after they have vowed never again!

A man on the other hand pretends he is fine and is over it already, so his male friends don’t call him because somehow in their heads he is perfectly ok. When they come around they take him out not because he is hurting no…. no…. just for him to make up the number, at this stage the guy now begins to fuck anything he finds, pay for or just throw himself into a bottle of something because he is in denial of the hurt he is going through. All this, simply because he does not want to appear weak to the woman, for some of the lucky guys they have a rebound relationship. Now he is a real bastard!

The advantage of the female “expressive emotion” is that it works well but not the best while the “passive emotion” of the man is ultimately destructive but for the short term he will save face and plays along. But I hope that as I deal with this issue, I will help bring it to open discussion that a man is allowed to cry, feel sad, miss his girl, say sorry and still be a man. I want to challenge everyone to tell me when last you saw a man cry, yet that is one of the most powerful physical emotional display of sadness or joy

While I have identified the problem with the male emotion, the problem with the female emotion is that after all that bashing of the man it drives the woman further away from reconciliation to a man. That is why women are the best at long term rebound; she is dating Peter but thinks she is dating Patrick, so every mistake made by Patrick in the past is taken out on Peter in the present. The end result is a relationship of stress, she get confused as to why it’s happening because she really loves him but cannot explain why he does not behave in a certain way, at this stage she is beginning to doubt herself and fear sets in and then comes the common phrase “men are all the same”. That sentence is the most ignorant comment some stupid person came up with (maybe a feminist). That comment allows people to give up easily, put every man in a box and disregard a fundamental human behaviour the ability to change. Have you also noticed that comment does not sound right when used for women?

A perfect emotion......... to be continued in the next few days, let me give you time to take it in

Am here now!

2009-04-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

I would like to welcome everyone to my blog, well well well those who know me will know I have a lot to say and sometimes the things i say may not make you happy but i gurantee it will make you think.

I also want to say if i am wrong I will admit it but not without a fight....because before I write I will check it out either based on my faith, fact or just general info. But I promise I will admit if I get it wrong.

This blog will be about, dance, politics, men, women and of course God. No matter what i write it will be bloody real and you can reply if you want but haha...ha i can remove it if i don't like it....well get yours!

At some stage i may write about my little life and how its going and becoming a bigger life in christ and how i struggle, fight and over come some of the painful and difficult situations in my life. But all in all there are certainly some good situations to write about.

So thank you for checking out my blog and please return soon as I start with a firey subject of men and women.